The whole matter of family leadership and discipline become at once harder and easier if you have several youngsters in your family.
Conflits between siblings
Harder, because each has his special personality, stage of growth particular demands and interests; harder too because most brothers and sisters compete with each other at least some of the time.
When you give special attention to one, the other may feel left out. You love her more than you do me, “ it’s his turn to set the table, not mine,” “if he is going to stay up late, I’m too” are familiar words in many families.
Benifits to have sibling
Brothers and sisters are a lot of fun together. They also teach other many important lessons.
Older children can get good examples for the younger ones. The younger child helps his big brother or sister to feel wise, strong and important when he looks them for wisdom and strength.
They can even teach each other lessons when they are fighting. If helps your children to learn how to argue, to defend themselves, to stand up for for their own rights and to take peace.
Peace may become quite an issue in some families.
Brother-sister quarreling some time becomes unbearable. Some of it can be borne more easily if you realize that often your youngster are competing for your attention.
Each wants to be aborted child therefore, quarreling can often be cut down by showing and telling each of your youngster how much you love him.
Then, too your children may be fighting mostly because they are hungry, or tired, or just because living together and and sharing home often means giving up something they want for themselves.
Food and rest at the right movement can help also, quarreling can often be reduced by encouraging your children to talk about what angers them. This at least, gets matters out of the punching, pinching and hitting stage.
When angry words building up between siblings
Angry words occasionally build up into a traffic jam of insult trading. One way to break up the jam is to get youngster off the center and set him speeding along his own road such as johnny, you go outdoors and ride your bike. Janie, you go in the living room and paint me picture, Judy, I can see you are tired. I want you to take a nap. And here are too cookies for each of you.
Separating brothers and sisters for a while cools down hearted feelings. Letting restless one have a chance to blow of steam through exercises,or creative activity drains off.
Tensions, giving food restores energy and a sense of being loved. Putting tired youngsters to bed helps them to feel less cross. Just what directions you give each of you’re your children depends, of course on what you have found works for each and what is causing is to behave as he does.
If you can manage to be fair, firm, and calm as you settled family bickering, your youngsters will appreciate it. They set great store by justice. They like a sense of order and control. They want you to save them from being too free with their anger and jealousy.
To this end some families have a system of rules work assignments, regular treats, and so on.
Some families make charts, after discussion with the children, that each youngster knows exactly what his jobs are for each day. In this way, arguments are cut down as to “ whose turn is it?”
Of course, systems can be overdone. They tend to work but when they can be changed for special reasons.
Different feelings for different children
Even though you do your best to promote good feelings in your family, one or more of your children might accuse you of playing favorites.
Analyse your behavior first
It might be worth your while to think this over. Maybe without realizing it. You do show more favor to one child and to another.
You might have especially high standards for one because he is so much like you understand him best, perhaps you also get particularly cross with him when he shows traits you have and wish you didn’t like a hot temper.
If you find yourself truly favoring or over blaming one of your children more than others, you can sometimes correct yourself by facing this fact and searching for the reasons.
This doesn’t always work, because one of us can hope to understand and control all of our feelings and actions. If you realize you have made a mistake like this, it might be also a good idea to tell your child and, at the sometime, try to mend your ways.